A Drafted Piece-A Drowning At Sea
Here we can see that the student has written the first draft of the story: A Drowning At Sea.
We as teachers need to encourage students by emphasizing that the first draft is never a perfect draft. For this reason, they need to create multiple drafts in order for their final piece to be a perfect for the audience to read. Note that this stage does not focus on spelling. In this stage as multiple drafts are required, these will follow into the revising stage, where ideas are added or taken away. Information is further enhanced in this stage. Therefore as teachers, we should model writing for students, so they can also develop the passion that we have for writing. Each stage must be model so students can gain the skills necessary to create a structure in their written pieces.
In my observation of this written piece:
- Characters' emotions are not clearly expressed.
-There is very little dialogue.
-Characters' personality is not mentioned.
-Some details in sentences need to be developed.
-More transitional phrases need to be used.
-Some figurative language need to be expressed in piece.
These are just a few ideas which need to be taken into consideration to enhance the story a lot more. You, the reader, can identify other areas of need which I have not identified. Remember, all these observations are normal for the first draft. It is the teacher's duty to address these issues and to make the story come alive and to be clearer, as they teach students through mini lessons, videos, mentor texts, modelling and so on.
Above is a link to help teachers gain some insight about drafting. (Left click on the above link, which then allows you to go to link.)
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